Pancakes with bacon hidden inside, topped with apples
I have an ongoing discussion with my friend Nicole on what constitutes a meal. I vehemently defend anything I’ve ever posted on this blog, and she denies most of it.
Nicole: Macaroni and cheese is NOT a meal.
Nicole: Pancakes are cake, NOT a meal.
Nicole: A muffin is NOT breakfast, it’s cake.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I can pretty much call anything into a meal. For one solid week last year I ate nothing but chocolate cake and red wine for dinner. If it’s 6PM, and I eat a slice of cake and drink a glass of wine, and then I’m full, and then I go to bed… how come that’s not dinner? I’m not feeding it to my growing children, or even my hungry boyfriend. Nicole would probably argue that there is literally zero nutritional value in chocolate cake and red wine (except for all those antioxidants! what whaaaaat). And that’s her argument against macaroni and cheese, and pancakes, too. Zero nutritional value. Does a “meal” have to have a certain amount of nutritional value to actually be worthy of the name? I dare you to find a single, city-living lady who has never called cheese and crackers dinner.
What do you think, guys? What’s a meal? Are pancakes a meal if you add bacon? Or top them with apples? Why is spaghetti with sauce and garlic bread considered dinner, but not pancakes? Why is a bowl of Lucky Charms breakfast, but not slice of pound cake (FYI: they both have TONS of sugar). Is greasy Chinese takeout a meal even though it has endless amounts of MSG, fat, and oil? How about a pepperoni pizza?
I rarely ask outright for your comments, but this time I want them! Go ahead. Comment away. That’s right… I’m lookin’ at you.
Hi all! I’ll be back real soon with another fabulous Astoria establishment, but in the meantime, don’t forget that Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution is back on TV! Watch the very first online episode here.
This is why you’re fat. Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt. This picture has been making the blog rounds, so of course, I jumped on board. Remember the KFC Artery-Clogger or whatever it was called? This is up there. Does this even look appetizing to you? It looks DISGUSTING to me. And I’m the girl who enjoys a sandwich melted with french fries in it. ‘Nuff said.
It’s FRIED CHEESE sticks MELTED inside a GRILLED CHEESE. And you know that sandwich was made with oil and butter. And you know that cheese didn’t come from a local farm. It’s processed and made with oil and some sort of fake cheese-like-substance that makes my heart seize up just hearing about. Oh dear Jesus, deliver us from evil.
I can’t help but be completely fascinated by all of the attention being placed on schools and school lunches lately. Michelle Obama is the biggest advocate with the White House Garden, followed closely by Jamie Oliver’s six-episode Food Revolution (all episodes available on Hulu right now!).
So while it’s still a year away from materializing, FoodCorps really, really excites me. A project of the National Farm to School Network, FoodCorps will focus on lending a hand to schools in need of assistance, in the form of lunch room aid, nutrition education, garden planting, and other tasks relating to bringing a healthier lifestyle to schools across the country. It’s in the same vein as AmeriCorps, which provides service to communities in need in the form of recent college graduates.
If I wasn’t so old, I’d join up myself but if you’re interested, keep your ears and eyes peeled for more info. You can join their mailing list here.
I once knew a girl… we’ll call her… Laura. Yeah, Laura. Every once in awhile, Laura would get an insatiable craving for fried chicken. One day after high school she drove half an hour to the closest KFC and ate fried chicken all by herself because no one else wanted to join her. One time last winter she went to Popeye’s and ran the 8 blocks home because it was freezing outside and she didn’t want her chicken to get cold.
I know. She’s gross. Gross Laura.
When Laura saw this, she was neither intrigued nor tempted to visit a KFC to try it out. I believe her first reaction was to gag, then look away, then look back in utter disgusted fascination. WHO IS EATING THIS MESS DISGUISED AS A MEAL?! 32 grams of fat. 1380 mg of sodium. 540 calories. Somewhere Jamie Oliver is crying himself to sleep.
Sam Sifton’s review for the Times is perfect, and Eater’s creepster coverage of Sam Sifton eating the monstrosity is even better.
Those high-fructose corn syrup ads have always bugged me. “It’s made from corn.” Newsflash: everything starts as something natural. That doesn’t mean we should eat everything. Cardboard sandwich with a gasoline spread, anyone? But it comes from the earth!
That’s why I was so pleased to read this. Turns out (PREPARE TO BE SHOCKED) high-fructose corn syrup is not good for you, and it is way worse than regular sugar.
In other shocking news, the grass is green and chocolate is tasty.
I swear, this is my last gross-food post for awhile. I’ll get back to posting pictures of fluffy pancakes and cheesy pastas ASAP. But for now… please. Stop eating McDonald’s. Just… just do it.
Lately there has been a lot of media attention on childhood obesity and the lack of nutrition in school lunches. I vividly remember the sour cardboard taste of the French bread pizza, the sticky gum consistency of the mashed “potatoes” and the ubiquitous joy of the first day of middle school when the lunch ladies didn’t force you to buy a whole meal (you mean I can buy French fries, a bottle of Fruitopia, and Hostess cupcakes for lunch?! Sold!).
So while I will never preach nutrition on this blog, I do know the distinct sensation of craving fruits and vegetables after a particularly burger-ice-cream-nacho filled weekend. And I love anything freshly, organically, locally prepared. A girl can not live on bacon grease alone.
When I read about Fed Up With Lunch: The School Lunch Project in the Daily News, I was fascinated. I know a lot of kids love pizza and French fries. But kids also like apples with peanut butter, ants on a log, and even (gasp!) salad if it’s prepared correctly. I have to give the anonymous teacher behind Fed Up With Lunch a huge hand: you couldn’t pay me to eat these lunches as an adult.
Okay, maybe you could pay me.
But it would have to be a lot.
A sample lunch – bringing a whole new meaning to “mystery meat” (photo c/o Fed Up with School Lunch)
In related news, watch Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, premiering this Friday, March 26 on ABC. These kids don’t know what a tomato is. I wish I was kidding.